What can make a child cry and a group of parents tense up like they are about to receive a shot at the doctor's office? It's the S word-spanking.Most of us know that the book of Proverbs affirms using "the rod of discipline." Because some parents have physically abused their children, an increasing number of people consider spanking to be synonymous with child abuse.
However, I believe properly administered spanking is a positive, biblical approach to raising children. Here are two simple guidelines:
First, clarify the boundaries and the punishment for the offense. Decide what behavior is "worth" a spanking, and be sure your child understands it. We have six children, and we only have half a dozen issues warranting a spanking. We have used spanking sparingly, as a last resort in the training of our children. But we have used it.
Second, it should not be administered in anger but out of love, and in the context of a relationship with the child. The purpose is to help the child understand that his or her wrong choices have consequences. We always loved on our children before and after they'd been disciplined. I didn't get that many spankings as a child, but I can tell you this-I always felt loved, and I definitely needed the correction!
As parents, we are in the process of producing a harvest of character, helping our children learn to be responsive to God and themselves for their lives. As parents, we can't gloss over flagrant disobedience and pretend it didn't occur. If we do, we allow foolishness, rather than wisdom, to have a foothold in our children's hearts.